Skip to main content

When It All Changed - Part 1

 You know the drill.... boy meets girl, girl likes guy, guy likes girl bla bla bla....

But this story didn't have that happy ending that everyone hopes for. It actually turned to shit pretty quickly and the rose coloured glasses that i had on for awhile came off and poof the prince was no longer the knight in shining armour.

I believe that you meet people in your life for a reason - sometimes it's to show you that you are absolutely the worst possible match out there.

Thing is i was young - a teenager infact and the day that i was sitting on the toilet looking down at a pregnancy test that showed "positive" at a ripe old age of 19 was a day that everything changed. " Oh fuck!" i thought to myself...

Fast forward 9 months and 10days, 36 kgs of pregnancy eating bliss ( and i really thought i had the most gorgeous pregnancy glow! haha) and 42 hours of the most agonising pain known to man, out came the most beautiful, perfect little baby boy i had ever seen! I could not stop staring at him and thinking "crap... your here... what do i do with you now?"

Ethan, was born a healthy weight, responded perfectly to everything a baby should and fed pretty much straight away -  i had gone from rebellious teenager to a mother and completely responsible for another human being overnight. "oh shit... here we go" i thought.

734011_173335739483850_1494405017_n

So looking after a baby was HARD. When i brought Ethan home from the hospital all he did was scream, to the point that i called the hospital asking them if they had given me the wrong baby as my baby didn't scream at all when i was there.  

Dummies became my best friend, formula was like the holy grail at 6 weeks when i finally gave up on the whole breast feeding ( didnt work for me ) and the jolly jumper oh the jolly jumper .. i am forever in your debt for given me 10 minute breaks here and there. 

I was a kid raising a kid - with no idea what i was doing, how i was going to do it - but i promised that little baby the second that he rested on my chest in the hospital that i would love him forever and that we were a team, him and me and we would work through everything together....

577690_173862282764529_444508054_n

 

oxox

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do not write blog post when you have had a couple of wines

 It's been a bad day.  Not a travesty, but a day of anxiety, overload of emotions, countless puffs from many a ciggies and all in all just a bleh.  Where the fuck has 2020 gone? How did we get from free world to lockdown and oppressions and wearing masks???? I  burnt my 2020 planner, close with my 2020 diary, because why the fuck, hey? Let's just write this year off as a mistake on a humanity scale and start fresh in 2021.  Funnily enough, I bought a $4 2021 diary. So there may be hope. My beloved is struggling. Which  means that I am struggling, Seeing him in pain, no sleep, swelling joint agony, depression and all the things that entail chronic illness. I'm at a loss as to how to help him, I just sit and be with him and tell him every day that i will be by his side till the rest of my days.  At least 2020 has shown us this: What actually is important in our life, What actually matters, like really really matters,  The latest model car or other new appliance upgra

Is it Saturday or Sunday?

 It is just before 6am as I sit here on my back porch watching the sun slowly rise for another day. What day is it? #isolyf has got me all confused to the day, date and month. With so many of us wishing and wanting “more time”, I have found myself getting bored of being bored and the motivation bug seems to come in slower and less frequently. How the world has changed in the unprecedented times, hey? It seems that here in #straya, we have quickly adapted to the powers that be and in the matter of weeks have become accustomed to the lack of interaction and movement. Does that concern you? How quickly we have been able to conform? I had to delete Facebook off my phone a few weeks ago as I was constantly checking #scomo and Googling “coronavirus” every other minute. The information overload brought on confusion as well as fear and I was working around feeling like doomsday was coming. The best thing that I did was switch off. The establishment news was only regurgitating stupidity on a

I had a hysterectomy at 37 years of age

 This coming Wednesday will mark four weeks since my hysterectomy. It has been a long journey coming – this hysterectomy and with all the ailments that I had experienced over the last 20 years, including low grade cervical cancer, I could not have been happier seeing my uterus ripped out and put in the bin. That said, I am grateful that these organs allowed me to birth my two sons. They are the joys and absolute headaches of my life. I would (like most mothers I am sure) take a bullet for them and they always know that sanctuary of any sort will always be home for them. But a hysterectomy at 37 you say? Yes, I do admit that Google will tell you that this surgery is quite early in my life, but after two decades of agony, constant pain, bloating to the size of looking like I am six months pregnant and the fact that I had finished have all the children that I desired, it really was a no brainer. We live in rural Victoria. Our main town, Mildura has a hospital, and I was aware that give