Bliss and Mayhem

 To my dearest-sweet-beautiful person in my life,  I've been quiet. I have also been distant, refrained and at times non-contactable. See, this anxiety beast that has grown over the last two years; it has been playing havoc with my insides. There are many times and days where I feel aokay, I am on top of the world - I smile, dance and laugh - and then this tiny burning feeling starts growing deep in my chest and it all comes crashing down around me - even if you cannot see it on the outside.  I understand, dearest-sweet-beautiful person in my life, how frustrating or confusing this may be for you. That in one instance, I seem fine and then the next, I don't reply to your text message for days. That's the mess that is, the Black Dog I suppose. It is such a thing in itself. Debilitating.  Dearest-sweet-beautiful person in my life - I'm here. 2017, has felt a little like an uphill marathon. Where seeing your name on my phone or reading your message can bring me to a c