It's been a bad day.
Not a travesty, but a day of anxiety, overload of emotions, countless puffs from many a ciggies and all in all just a bleh.
Where the fuck has 2020 gone? How did we get from free world to lockdown and oppressions and wearing masks????
I burnt my 2020 planner, close with my 2020 diary, because why the fuck, hey? Let's just write this year off as a mistake on a humanity scale and start fresh in 2021.
Funnily enough, I bought a $4 2021 diary. So there may be hope.
My beloved is struggling. Which means that I am struggling, Seeing him in pain, no sleep, swelling joint agony, depression and all the things that entail chronic illness. I'm at a loss as to how to help him, I just sit and be with him and tell him every day that i will be by his side till the rest of my days.
At least 2020 has shown us this:
What actually is important in our life, What actually matters, like really really matters,
The latest model car or other new appliance upgrade means shit when you are sitting next to your beloved watching and feeling them suffer. Stuff means nothing. And I've learnt this every more moving outside of consumerism bubble of the suburbs and our tree change 600 kms away from Melbourne.
Care and empathy. THIS is what it should be about,
Not the latest model Mercedes you own, or that you have more in your superannuation account than the next person.
In the end, we all end us as dust. I want to be remembered as making the most of the time i have on this earth with the ones that i love, and in return with the ones that love me the most,
The rest, can go fuck itself.