Take a step back and see it as "interesting"

 

 

The human condition has fascinated me forever. As a past over-thinker, I really enjoyed observing, analysing and forming assessments of that way and the why  people behaved and interacted. 

What makes people tick, made me tick. 

But with this over-thinking came plenty of anxiety because I would play words, ways things were said or not said, over and over and over again. It would bring on that anxiety of making me question my responses to situations; whether I acted correctly, said too much, not enough and was the entry point into the tailspin of paranoia and anxiety. Observation is beautiful - taking on someone else's story can be soul destructive. 

Let me explain. 

I've practised this outlook now for a couple of years since I got sick. You know that saying "don't make a mountain out of a mole hill?" I was the QUEEN of being constantly worried about what people thought of me. To say the right things, to be acknowledged, to be heard and most importantly, someone else's perception of me really really really mattered. I think part of my healing process physically but also mentally in parts was in letting go the old behaviour that I had programmed in me  - just like a knee jerk reaction. So when I caught myself re-playing a moment with someone, a conversation and trying compartmentalise is my head, I began the gentle reminder to stop. 

I had a choice on how i processed that moment.

I had a choice on what I took on personally and what I let go and recognised was their story being just that - their story. 

I also remembered that you cannot control another persons behaviour, but you can be in power on how you respond to it. 

That last sentence has given me so much freedom. I feel much lighter because of it.

Negative energy, behaviour and words can the be the hardest thing to deal with. They can hurt your soul - like deep inside and memories of it stay with you. I get it. Some things can never be forgotten. But what if in those moments you could, before absorbing all that shit stuff - pause, breathe, and perhaps think to yourself "this is interesting" instead of going into the realms of feeling personally attacked. If we look at how other people around us behave, talk, whatever with "this is interesting" we eliminate making their story, our own story. See?

Absolutely voice your voice. Absolutely say something if you have something to say. But remember that everyone that you encounter along the way has their own baggage, their own bad days, their own moments that are imprinted on their minds and sometimes those not so nice things that you feel from someone is just their own story and history coming out. Don't take it on. 

 

It's just interesting.