I had cancer last year. And it fucking sucked

  

Cancer.

One word that you never want to hear.

A word that starts with C.

Cervical Cancer. A double word with C.

It’s a fucking horrible word.

I’d even prefer the other C word, to the dismay of my Mother; I have a gutter mouth at times but a heart of gold.

However many stories that you hear, it doesn’t even matter whether you know someone that has had cancer, nothing can prepare you for when a doctor tells you the news that you do. Your world literally stops. And everything goes into slow motion. The things that you thought were important – some of them become irrelevant and your mortality – which I never really thought about becomes an issue that becomes so close to the front of your mind.

Shit. Fuck. Shit. God.

Ladies, seriously!

I KNOW!

That life gets in the way.

I KNOW, that we are run ragged just to make sure that the bills are paid, groceries are done, jobs need to be attended to but for god’s sake, PLEASE make that appointment to get a pap smear.

I forgot, put if off, cancelled the appointment and then 5 years later got some terrible news.

You see, cervical cancer is also known as a silent cancer. A cancer, which can present with no symptoms. That can take years to develop and the best way to catching this silent killer is to rock up to your doctor, open your legs and having that disgusting, uncomfortable contraption stuck up there while you try to think of something other than what’s going on.

I’m convinced that a man invented it.

And then sometimes-cervical cancer has symptoms. Such as bloating, back pain, extremely painful periods, bleeding after sex, tiredness. And I had all these symptoms, for a LONG time. When I finally went to my GP and explained what had been going on with me:

That I had been functioning like a zombie for over 12 months,

That the only thing that would relieve my pain would be for my 10 year old son to sit on my stomach to relieve the pressure that I was feeling in my uterus.

That I constantly felt like I had a watermelon up my hooha, and I had a forever desperate feeling to push it out.

That my sex life was non-existent.

I was swiftly referred to a specialist. And then another. And then another.

And then, Cancer.

With a recital provided to me of my options. Surgery, chemotherapy, hysterectomy.

Six weeks after my diagnosis, I was getting wheeled in for surgery with signed papers giving permission to give me a hysterectomy if the surgeons deemed necessary.

Heavy, seriously heavy.

I still have my uterus, they didn't need to remove it. You can read all about my love/hate for it here.

I am Cancer free today. I will however for at least the next 4 years, have this looming over me, petrified that at my next pap smear I may hear the same words.

Tomorrow is World Cancer Day.

Kayte, the genius behind one of my favourite blogs Woogs World, started the discussion within her community of the pap smear. Check out her blog post here.

Make a reminder in your calendar.

Set an alarm on your phone.

Talk to your girlfriends about when each of you are due for a pap smear, help each other be accountable for getting to that appointment.

If you don’t have time, make time.

Ten minutes of your life every two years is nothing to what you could be potentially going through.

I wasn’t sure what photo to attach to this post. I didn’t want to just add an image relating to cancer that I found of the web.

So here you go. A plant that Steve moved from place to place around our garden for years and years.

 

 

It never bloomed, until recently.

I like it. It makes me smile and it is reminder that life is so precious.