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50 Shades of Grey. Really?

 In my last post I wrote about “taking stock”, about things that were happening in my world and to give you more of an insight to me. I also mentioned that I had to “bookmark” a date night. It had been far too long since Steve and I went on a date.

So on Monday, I asked my mama to watch my lovelies after work so we could spend some quality time together, not talking to each other in a dark cinema for two hours! Ha!

Here we are! Date Night! Woop woop!

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And with all the hype, circulation of reviews and also curiosity I booked our $7 tickets to see 50 Shades of Grey.

I had read all 3 of the books when they first came out. Mainly I was intrigued as to what the big deal was with them, and also I hadn’t read a book for pure enjoyment in a long time.

To say that I was disappointed with the literature writing and quality is an understatement.

To say that it was an effort to get through event the first book due to the repetitiveness and lack of interesting story line would be spot on.

I actually think I binned them afterwards – that’s how excited I was of potentially picking them up again for another read.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for what I call “blasé” TV and reading. Give me “Real Housewives” anything, reality TV or a trashy magazine any day – I love being able to sit, relax and chill out without having to think too much about what I’m watching or reading sometimes. You could call it my version of Yoga at the moment.

But this movie Рand all that it stands for and portrays was not blas̩.

This movie is DANGEROUS.

This movie was so fucked, dollied up to be a love story and has been marketed sending a message (inadvertently) that this type of abuse, which has been wrapped up as lust is actually ok.

My biggest concern, was when we walked into the cinema, half of the audience were under 21 – young women.

For those of you that are not sure what I’m talking about, here is a two second vomit called a storyline:

Fifty Shades of Grey is the story of a college student, Anastasia, who begins a relationship with a 27 year old very successful and powerful businessman, Christian Grey, after interviewing him for her college newspaper. Ana loses her virginity to Christian, and he wants her to sign a non-disclosure agreement and a contract that keeps their relationship purely sexual and defines how their relationship as one of "dominance and submission."

It dances around BDSM, which in a nutshell is a form of fantasy erotic sexual practices, which can involve one partner being a “dominant” and the other “submissive”

Want to read a bit more about BDSM see here.

Even though this type of sexual activity does nothing for me, I can understand when in a safe environment this could work for some people.

Whatever floats your boat under the sheets I say. We are all so different, why wouldn’t people’s sex lives be all different as well.

But, like relationships, your sex life with your partner, SHOULD be about consent, respect, trust and understanding.  And SAFE.

This piece of shit movie DOES NOT endorse or advocate those non-negotiables.

I saw these young women around me watching this movie and I was deeply concerned that depending on their state of mind, their confidence and love for themselves, they may think that what they were watching (DOMESTIC ABUSE) was actually ok.

 

That it is okay to not have a say about your own body

That it is okay to be isolated from your family and friends

That it is okay to be controlled

That it okay to be followed and stalked

That it is okay to be physically and mentally abused by someone else

IT IS NOT OKAY

Steve was unknowingly was my support person watching this film, as even though I am a much stronger, confident and empowered woman than I was those years ago when I was touched by domestic violence, it took me years of self medicating, abuse of drugs to numb the pain and eventually therapy to heal and the last 15 minutes of the film was a trigger point even with so much time passed.

Sweaty palms, tensing in my seat, wanting to shut off the noise and the images of brutal abuse in front of me.  IT WAS BAD.

Would I call this a movie for the “girls” to go out and see? Or a “date night” for couples?

NO.

Would I urge conversations about what domestic violence is, isolation, what consent is, what abuse is to be openly discussed with your daughters and friends around you?

YES.

I understand that this film is fiction and that all of us watch movies that take us on a journey, a form of escapism.

But, 50 Shades of Grey has been marketed as a love story. 

AND IT IS NOT

If you need to talk to someone and need help – please reach out to the people around.

If you do not have someone around you that you feel comfortable having the discussion with you can contact these fabulous organisations:

 

Life Line 13 11 44 

 

White Ribbon

 

Beyond Blue

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