I made a resolution this year to make no new years resolution. So far, so good. Planning and excel spreadsheets and lists – straight out the window. In times when those things should have helped, they didn’t – so out with the “be in control of every single thing, even the future that you cannot control, god damn it” and in with the “ what will be, will be, who the fuck cares anyway, just let it all go – mantra” Well someone forget to tell my closer to 40 than 30 year old body that there was a change in the status quo. The brain switch changed to ce la vie, and the body has turned into an absolute hurricane having absolutely no idea what the fuck is going on. Mind and Body for the last 2 years have been in fight, panic, despair mode. This has been the norm for quite some time now that in the last 48 hours, I think it has literally tried to shit itself and self-combobulate. I actually haven’t had a panic attack where I couldn’t move – until yesterday. For about 30 minutes lay flat on
TRYING TO FIND THE BLISS IN THE MAYHEM OF EVERYDAY