Bliss and Mayhem

 Well, that has happened quickly. It is amazing when you actually decide on making a change – how quickly things can start to manifest for you. I wrote about it here . And after I hit publish, I consciously went through my social media zoo and did what I said I would do. I un-noised it. De-activated my twitter account and made a mental note of creating more quiet. Ethan and I lived in a little unit many,many,many years ago on our own, I really struggled with quiet and being alone. My own company was something that I didn’t really know, I loved the chaos of being busy. The chaos of people, the dramas. Even though I loved it, it was completely and utterly draining. So slowly I made an effort to actually embrace the quiet and calm. I attempted to meditate as often as I could. Not having any idea on how to do it – I reverted back to my years of dance training where I would do slow stretches of the muscles for about 30 minutes every day. It calmed the mind. It calmed my soul. Such a smal

     Image Source At the end of 2015, I was seeing beautiful posts popping up left, right and everywhere of vision boards. Of declarations for the “word” which would be their focus for 2016. Words such as, “courage”, “brave”, “peace”, “empower”. All such great words with amazing intention. I thought about doing a Vision Board, for about 20 seconds. Then life got in the way. My word that has been frequenting my mind has been – NOISE. Since Christmas {can you believe we are already 4 months since then!!!??} nothing too dramatic has changed in my life. I still work 40 hours per week. Still have 2 kids that I need to tend to and mother. Still am a wife. Still have bills, groceries and the forever load of WASHING. Washing. Fucking washing. But, I haven’t coped with it. Or am not coping with it. My anxiety has really shown its face a lot. I have felt completely overwhelmed 50% of the time. And it has become clear as this is now manifesting in lack of sleep, unexplained weight loss and

 This was, the last room to be completed in our epic renovation. I call it EPIC, as the process has taken a total of seven years to bring our home from the psychedelic 1970's to now.  95% of our renovations have been done by ourselves. We have recycled many materials and items over the years and re-used wherever possible. It is possible to do things on a budget - you just need to be prepared to live on a building site forever and do bits and pieces over time.  I do say "we" in the renovations, but I need to give credit where credit is due. And that is to Steve. The man is so switched on. He puts his mind to anything and before I know it, it is done. Not a builder by trade but a mechanic, he has literally rebuilt the inside of our house on his own.  Back to my kitchen. This was her before:   > > > > Dated, tired and old. Completely nothing wrong with it but as you can see, for a 4 bedroom house this kitchen was squishy and pokey and lacked storage. Y

   I hate the news. I hate that my feed on Facebook is filled with sad, devastating snippets on a daily basis. I had to unfollow a whole lot of them. I stopped watching the news a while ago as the noise of it made my head implode. There is never nice stuff on the news hey? I'm sure all this stuff has been happening at the same rate but due to technology and instant updates, we are bombarded with it all the time. There is something to be said about cutting your time "online" even if for just a little bit. Like having a "meat-less Monday" but lets have a "internet-less Monday".  And I have heard recently of the Royal Commission Against Family Violence  that is underway. I for one, will gladly pay a levy in my tax to support this. Family violence is a serious issue in our backyards. We need to address it and not have our head in the sand. Even if it isn't happening to you - the likelihood that it is occurring to someone that you know is high. Becom

     It has come to my attention that I've been doing this blog biz here now for two years. Two years peeps! Something that started out as a little outlet for me, a minimal outlay hobby, a space that I could "unload" has slowly but surely grown to become a real love and in sorts, a part of me.  I am, very proud of the work and writing that I have put up here. There have been times where my posts have been long, short, funny, informative. I have had consistent times of when i would put posts up and then go into lulls of "meh". Thing is, I think I've been doing it wrong here lately. Nearly every day at some point, an idea would pop into my head where I would think,  "Awesome! I'll write about that!", but fear has gotten the better of me. For some stupid reason, fear of what the billions , thousands , hundreds , okay only my friends will think of what I write here has given me stage fright. And if you knew me in "real life" THIS IS

    What the last 12 months has taught me, is to appreciate the time we have. We never know when it will be up, and life, as we know should never be taken for granted.  I, You, We, live in world where everything is so fast paced. Technology is really at our fingertips, we are expected to be “on” and all over it ALL THE TIME. And don’t get me wrong. I have shit days. I get angry, I get annoyed and overwhelmed. I look at the constant pile of washing and dishes and menial crap that I have to do everyday and just moan. I want to sometimes run into my bathroom, lock the door and just sit, cry and block out the noise. Life is just hard sometimes hey?   But. Watch this. Some of the wisest words I have heard.    

      I had three different people ask me yesterday if I was okay. Three. I must be sending out this vibe without even know it – that not all is well with Cheryl. The last few posts I have had a standard moan at the moment of feelings of overwhelms, tiredness and basically at my tether with adulting. Can there really be a point of not being able to adult? I don’t know. Most days, I awake and take in that deep breath to start the day that I know will be another hectic one. Most days, I smile in the face of this and really try, like really try to get on with it. I don’t want to give more fuel to the fire of lostness that I already feel. But this hill, which feels like a mountain and I am the ant seems to be getting higher and higher, I can’t even get my legs to stand me up so I can start the long walk to the top  Maybe its just that time of year – where Summer brings out that beautiful buzz of activity. Where the days are longer, the sun is out and it is the season where it is “